I can wait

Okay, with only maybe a month left in my pregnancy, I often find myself saying "Oh, I cannot wait for this little one to get here." No sooner do I say it that I immediately take it back. You see, I have had preterm labor with my last two sons, one which included a one month stay in the hospital for me prior to his birth. Those pregnancies really taught me the value of time and waiting. Now, successfully 33 weeks and no preterm labor incidents, I can wait.

Yet, how often do we get anxious for something to happen because we have begun to get uncomfortable or even tired of the waiting process? If you have been pregnant, then many of you know exactly what I am talking about. But even you have not, having patience while God is in the process of working takes discipline. We are to condition our thought process, the words that come out of our mouths, and keep reins on our actions, especially when we are guided to just be still.

Time is not just valuable when a child is developing in the womb; it is valuable as we are developing in our walk with Christ.

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Fatherhood

For many years I have heard the saying that any man can make a baby, but not everyone can be a daddy. As Father's Day is upon us, I have stopped to consider all the men who have chosen to be spiritual father's, men who have chosen to be active father's in their child's lives, and men who have chosen to step in and be a father to children even when they are not the biological parent.

These men have chosen to have one of the most important roles that a child can have--a father.
Sadly, so much of media has portrayed fathers as the comic relief of the household, as a man who is incapable of taking care of his children, and/or as a man who lacks the desire to have an active role in the household. Very rarely are there the positive images of fatherhood that show children the importance of revering their father's. The news often shows the men who are the deadbeat dads, those who run from responsibility, or are womanizing.

But there are many men, who are standing the front line loving God, respecting their wives, and being examples before their children.
So what can we do?

As women, as wives, or even as mothers, we can impact the way we treat men. We have the ability to use our words to encourage them. We have the ability to intercede for them in our prayer time asking God to direct their tongue, to protect their minds, to guide them in being head's of the home. We have the ability to remind them that they are designed to be heads and not tails regardless of what society may say. We have the ability to say thank you and show our appreciation for who they are as God designed them to be. As wives, we have the abilities to respect our husbands so that we too help set the example in the home. As children, we can honor and be obedient to our fathers.

I am thankful for the men that have set positive Godly examples of what it means to be a father, a husband, most importantly a man after God's own heart. Each of these men have helped to dispel the damaging views I had of men and learn the value of men in God's plan. Most importantly, I am most grateful that there is an heavenly Father who is able to be a father to the fatherless.

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Balance

“23Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. 24Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. 25The disciples went and woke him, saying, ‘Lord, save us! We're going to drown!’ 26He replied, ‘You of little faith, why are you so afraid?’ Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. 27The men were amazed and asked, ‘What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!’” Matthew 8: 23-27 NIV

Have you ever been to the circus? One performer in particular has recently caught a great deal of my attention—the tightrope walker. When I began my research on tightrope walkers, I was quite impressed. For tightrope walkers always continue forward while placing their balance on one of the weakest parts of the body—the ankles. Since they walk the rope with in line steps, their balance is shifted and placed upon the ankles. This is one of the reasons why they choose to use poles or place their arms out to their side. By doing so, they allow a portion of the balance to be shifted from the ankles and placed into the weight of the pole or their arms. Seasoned tightrope walkers always continue forward never taking their eyes off of their destination because if they linger to long in one place or look down they can loose their balance which ultimately causes them to fall.

Many of us walk tightropes in life. We do so much to balance being leaders, mothers, fathers, spouses, professionals, siblings, etc. that it becomes really easy to start placing trust in the wrong places and putting our strength in the weakest part. In balancing all that we do, it can become very easy to start trusting in our abilities, people, or even in the world’s system; all of which are weak. These things and people can only carry us so far. By trusting in all these other things, we can allow them to become distractions that take away from our fellowship, growth, and dependency in Christ.

When Jesus and the disciplines entered the ship to set sail on the sea of Tiberias, which was known for great storms, their focus was quite different. Off they sail, along with other boats, and Jesus goes of by himself to rest. While sleeping peacefully, a storm begins to rage all around them, knocking the boat to and fro, tossing water into the boat, causing great fear in the disciples and yet Christ still slept. His sleep was not a fretful one but rather one of great peace. The disciples, like us at times, was more focused on the great storm around them than keeping their eyes on who was with them. Just like the tightrope walker stumbles and falls when his/her eyes are taken off the destination, the disciplines became weak, gave into fear, and lost sight of the one who truly is the great protector.

Christ was able to sleep so peacefully in that boat because He knew more than anyone that His father was with Him. He was giving an example to them and us that even though storms and difficulties come, we can be at peace in, not ourselves, but the loving Father who is always with us. Even though the disciples focused more on the storm and took their eyes off of who was with them, they did know enough to run to Him. There they stood, shaking in fear, saying “We perish”. They understood that only Christ would be able to get them through the storm. We can learn from these disciples not to be so concerned about the storm that we forget that Christ is with us, but if we do, it is never too late to run to Him.

Prayer
My Lord and Savior, I am in awe of how much you truly love me in spite of all my flaws, my weaknesses, and my sins. I am thankful that even when the storms of life come, you are there to be my peace, my clarity, my protector. Help me to always be reminded that I do not have to fight the storm nor am I in the storm alone, but you are always with me. Forgive me for the times that I have tried to handle things in my own strength and in my own knowledge instead of seeking you. I pray that I may always have my eyes stayed on you. In Jesus name, Amen.

Suggested Weekly Reading
Monday Matthew 8: 23-27
Tuesday Luke 8: 23-25
Wednesday Psalm 65: 7
Thursday Mark 4: 36-41
Friday Matthew 6: 30
Saturday Matthew 17: 20
Sunday Psalm 89: 9

Application
Keep your eyes on Christ and not the storms of life.

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More than special

“3Then Jesus told them this parable: 4"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' 7I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” Luke 15: 3-7 NIV

Often times when we are in the world, we don’t realize just how special we are. We do things like settling, compromising, and tolerating actions and people because we think that is all that we may be worth. That something is always better than nothing. When I stop to look back over my life at the relationships that I had, there was a part of me that knew that God wanted better for me, but I thought that was all that I could get. We fool ourselves into believing that mediocrity can be hidden by a good job, good credit, etc.

Now, I realize that this is simply a tactic of the enemy. The enemy wants us to settle and accept less than what God has designed for us. In settling, compromise is a part of the deal. He wants us to stay attached to our sin by believing we are unlovable, that we have sinned so much there is no redemption, that we are forever damaged. When we stay in that state, it is hard to believe that anyone would want to truly love us so we settle or we can even go so far to damage relationships that are God ordained.

When I read Luke 15: 3-7, I am always uplifted and encouraged. In this simple parable is Christ’s way of teaching the people about His awesome ability to love. When I close my eyes, I can see the shepherd who has realized that one of his sheep has wandered away. In that moment, the shepherd could have just counted the loss and focused instead on the 99 he still had, but NO that one sheep was just as important as the 99 he still had. Off he goes to search for that one. When he finds it, it is a time of rejoicing.

I see in my mind that I, too at one point in my life, was like that sheep that had wondered away. Instead of Christ counting me lost, He sought me. Just like the lost sheep needed a shepherd to direct him back to the flock, when we accept Christ, He directs us from the lost to the found. He brings us back into His fold. We are so special to Christ that He seeks us out so that each of us may have a personal relationship with Him. It is His desire that none of us be without the covering of our father. You see, in seeking us, Christ knows our potential. Why would anyone seek something that was worthless? Each of us is priceless, that is why He choose to die for all of our sins. So I encourage you this day to celebrate, to praise, to be thankful for Christ who was and is willing to be our shepherd, seek us out, rejoice when we return, and restore us.

Prayer
Loving Father, I am so thankful to have a Lord and Savior who loves me so unconditionally. I realize that there is nothing so wonderful that I could ever say or do to desire your grace and mercy, but I am thankful that you offer it to me everyday. Thank you for seeking me out when I was lost and bringing me back into your loving arms. I pray that my mind, my words, and my actions may be pleasing in your sight. Help me to always have a praise in my heart for all that you have done and continue to do in my life. In Jesus name, Amen.

Suggested Weekly Reading
Monday Luke 15: 3-7
Tuesday Matthew 18: 12-14
Wednesday 1 Peter 1: 5
Thursday Romans 5: 9
Friday John 6: 44
Saturday 1 Corinthians 6: 19-20
Sunday Luke 15: 8

Application
Allow God to show you just how special you are to Him.

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Happily Ever After

I guess you could say that I love a great romance story. Many of us grew up with the happily ever afters of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White as children. How wonderful it was to think of the love of your life coming along and then the both of you drift off to the happily ever after. Yet, as I started to grow from the girl to the woman, I started realizing that there were not too many happily ever after stories around me. Quite the contrary really.

Divorce, separation, and marriages of conveince were my norms. I was familiar with dysfunction. Of couples choosing to walk away instead of staying in the good and the bad. I was familiar with the yelling, the tension, the barks that buried words of love. Sure, I believed in the happily ever after, but how did people make it work?

Then while my hubby and I were still in the dating phase, he took me to meet his grandparents who were married for over 50 years. I was in awe. There they were flirting. I sat there watching his grandfather's eyes still light up with his wife would step in the room. I listened to their love stories as his grandmother's cheeks would blush at her husband's stories of how they met many years ago. Being in their presence suddenly made happily ever after real for me.

I started paying more attention not just to those who made marriage last, but even to those who marriages faltered. What was it?

So in these 5+ years that have been married there are a few lessons that I have learned which are:

Pray: Pray daily for and with your husband.

Learn when to be quite: There are times to speak your mind, share your thoughts, and times when to just listen. Husbands need to know that they can be open when they need too not just when it works for us.

It takes work: The happily ever after does happen, but it takes work. There is not a simple equation because every relationship is different, but each person has to do their part. Sometime the work is long, hard, and hurts, just as there are times it is easy, fun, and goes too fast.

Be willing to forgive: Conflicts will happen in a marriage, but how we handle those conflicts are up to us. We can choose to hold grudges, give silent treatments, or even withhold intimacy or we can choose to exercise the same forgiveness that Christ so freely offers to us.

Remember your relationship: Just because you are married, have jobs, and kids, don't forget to have time set aside for just the two of you.

Change does happen: As time progresses we all change, grow, and adapt. Don't be afraid to change.

I am thankful to the women who have taken the time to be voices of sound counsel for me as I continue my journey as a wife. No matter how much I think I know, I always remind myself that there is so much more to learn. So I look forward to continuing to expand this list and pass on the nuggets of wisdom to other wives as well.

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Still there

I don’t know about you all, but we have been having some strange weather for this to be May. It started Saturday when the weather drastically began to change from our normal 90 degree weather to dropping into the lower 70’s. Then the rain began to fall.

When have been experiencing consistent rain now for over four days. Much to my surprise, as I was standing looking at the rain from my patio, all sorts of baby frogs began to spring forth. I don’t know where they came from, but suddenly there they were. Different colors and sizes but a lot of them. My initial reaction was to jump back, but then I just began to watch and pay more attention to where they were and where they came from.

Sometimes when rain comes in our lives, it can expose those things that we didn’t even know were there, just like the frogs. Those frogs I believe were able to come out the way they did because the environment was right for them to expose themselves. Sometimes we can get so upset at the situation we are in that we overlook that it is the right environment for God to expose something about ourselves that we didn’t even know was still there. The rain just helps create the atmosphere so that we are able to know to pray more, seek God more, or even to do the work that God had been calling for us to do for a while.

So don’t detest the raining season, instead look at it as the right environment for exposure and growth to take place. It is so much easier to deal with what God has bought to the light than to stay in the darkness believing we are in the light.

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So tired

For the past two weeks, I have had a lot of trouble sleeping. Now although I know that my doctor says that this is common for some women during pregnancy, yet that knowledge brings me little comfort. My body is screaming for rest, but when I go to lay down for a nap or a rest, little sleep comes. With little rest everything seems magnified. The little noises that the children make sound like a live concert in which I am sitting in the front row. Chores that usually are the simplest to complete seem like climbing Mount Everest at times. The things that usually flow so easily for me are not at their best. But life goes on. There is still dinner to cook, clothes to wash, homework to check, and even my homework that must get done.

Yet, in everything, I know that there is something for me to learn or some growth in my walk with Christ. For the times that I am most tired are also the times that the enemy seems to try to work in those situations around me. During this season, I have learned to call on God more, have more of the private talks, and accept the changes/help He is providing me.

For many of us, when we are tired is when we usually come to the end of ourselves. We lack the energy, the patience, even the kindness at times that is needed when interacting with those we love, let alone those we don’t. It is during those times that we are able to see those small cracks that lie within.

Tiredness reminds us that there is only so much we can do on our own.

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